Thursday, May 15, 2014

How to Spot a Sociopath

WikiHow. 

A sociopath can be defined as a person who is at least 18 years old who has Antisocial Personality Disorder. This disorder is characterized by a disregard for the feelings of others, a lack of remorse or shame, manipulative behavior, unchecked egocentricity, and the ability to lie in order to achieve one's goals. 

Sociopaths can be dangerous at worst or simply very difficult to deal with, and it's important to know if you've found yourself with a sociopath, whether it's someone you're dating or an impossible coworker. If you want to know how to spot a sociopath, then you have to pay careful attention to what the person says or does. See Step 1 to get started.

Part 1 of 2: Reading the Signs

  1. Look for a lack of shame.
  2. See if the person is constantly lying.
  3. See if they are able to stay eerily calm in spite of circumstances.
  4. See if they are extremely charming -- at first.
  5. See if the person is exceptionally intelligent.
  6. See if the person is manipulative.
  7. Look for signs of violent behavior.
  8. See if the person has a huge ego.
  9. See if the person makes uninterrupted eye contact.
  10. Face reading.
  11. See if the person has few real friends.
  12. See if the person likes to isolate you.
  13. See if the person is immature.

Part 2 of 2: Getting Away

  1. Stay away if you can.
  2. Be immune to the sociopath's charms.
  3. If you're dating the person, then get out as quickly as possible.
  4. Warn others.
  5. Think for yourself.


Sunday, May 11, 2014

Letter to the Editor: B.C. must act to save women, kids, from domestic violence

Letter of the Week: B.C. must act to save women, kids, from domestic violence

Young, T. (2014). The Province. Retrieved from: http://blogs.theprovince.com/2014/05/11/letters-b-c-must-act-to-save-women-kids-from-domestic-violence/

How many B.C. women must be bruised, bloodied and murdered by their male partners before the provincial government takes action in this domestic war against women?

How many children in B.C. must face a future where their mother will not get to be there to see them grow up?

In less than a month, numerous headlines have captured the picture of the extreme intimate-partner violence afflicting far too many women and children.

As your article points out, the Provincial Office of Domestic Violence is once again missing in action when it comes time to discuss what the office might be doing and what strategic and concrete action it is taking to make B.C. a safer place for children and women.

PDOV was formed in 2012 in response to recommendations from the Representative for Children and Youth, who completed reports on two cases of domestic homicide. Both of these cases were preventable tragedies if the systems involved had been paying attention and acting with conviction to keep the women and children involved safe from their abusers.

Reviewing the provincial domestic violence plan for 2014-2015, it is clear that there is no real action plan. There is only the appearance of having a plan based on “proposed actions” and scant details about how women and children will be safer.

It is time for the B.C. government to stop with the smoke and mirrors. Abuse, attempted murder and spousal homicide of their mothers should not be the memories children carry with them from childhood.

The dynamics of family violence are complex, but solutions are within reach. Other jurisdictions have seen improvements from taking real action, so it is time for the B.C. government to stop dragging its feet and listen to advocates for women and children and those who have experience in this area who have strategic, concrete ideas about how to improve the safety of women and children.

Tracey Young, Vancouver

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Statistics & Advice on Leaving an Abusive Partner

1 in 4 Canadians have tried to help a friend leave an abusive partner

Canadians would first look to a friend for help, although many would attempt to resolve abuse on their own

TORONTO, April 30, 2014 /CNW/ - A new study from the Canadian Women's Foundation reveals that 1 in 4 Canadians have tried to help a friend leave an abusive partner. Violence against women is prevalent in Canadian society, with women at higher risk of violent victimization by someone they know, like an intimate partner.

According to the survey, Canadians are most likely to turn to a friend first to report situations of verbal abuse (20 per cent) and emotional abuse (22 per cent). However, a relatively equal amount of respondents expect to resolve verbal and emotional abuse without outside help (28 per cent vs. 21 per cent, respectively), and a full 10 per cent would expect to resolve physical or sexual abuse on their own.  

"The fact that a quarter of Canadians have tried to help a friend leave an abusive partner underscores the prevalence of violence in this country," says Anuradha Dugal, Director of Violence Prevention, Canadian Women's Foundation. "Abusive situations can foster feelings of self-doubt, self-blame and humiliation, but attempting to resolve it alone can pose a great threat to the safety and well-being of the victim."

Although Canadians are likely to report abuse to their friends, 13 per cent of respondents do not have confidence that their friends would believe them. Canadians also worry that their family (16 per cent), doctors (15 per cent) and police or other authorities (28 per cent) would not take their reports seriously.

"It's alarming that so many Canadians are worried that their friends/family, doctors and even the police, would not believe them if they disclosed abuse. Living in a culture where speaking out about abuse is still taboo and where many blame the victim leads to many women believing that the abuse is their fault. Women are therefore less likely to come forward to report the assault or to seek assistance to escape the abuse," explains Ms. Dugal.

Other findings in the study revealed:
  • The majority of Canadians would first report physical abuse (55 per cent) and sexual abuse (56 per cent) to the police or other authorities
  • Close to half (43 per cent) of respondents are not confident that their HR department at work would believe them if they reported abuse
  • Almost one-third (31 per cent) of Canadians say that the financial toll that the legal process would take on their friends and family would be likely to prevent them reporting an abusive situation
  • A further third (31 per cent) of Canadians say having their story exposed to the public, friends and family members would likely prevent them from reporting abuse
The Canadian Women's Foundation's 10th Annual Campaign to End Violence against Women, ending May 11, raises awareness and funds for women who have experienced abuse. The funds raised help more than 445 shelters for abused women and their children and community violence prevention programs across Canada that break the cycle of violence.

If you know a woman in an abusive situation, the Canadian Women's Foundation offers the following ways that you can help:  

1. Be supportive
The most important thing you can do is listen and offer your nonjudgmental support. Tell them the violence is not their fault, and that they deserve to be treated with respect, no matter what. Let them know you do not blame them. If they decide to stay, do not judge them. The most valuable things you can offer a woman who is being abused are respect, taking her seriously and linking her to where she can get help.

2. Learn more about relationship violence
Recognize the warning signs of abuse and understand why many don't press charges against their abusers.

3. Be aware of the risks
Be careful about how you communicate with the victim, since many abusers closely monitor their victims (where they go, who they see, phone calls, email, Facebook etc.)

4. Ensure your own safety
Never confront an abuser or do anything that puts you in danger or feels unsafe. Take care of yourself by talking through your feelings about the issue with a supportive, knowledgeable friend or professional.

5. Find resources
Before speaking to a victim, get the phone number of your local shelter, crisis line, YWCA, or agency offering specialized services for victims of abuse. This way you can provide specific information, if and when they are ready.

6. Choose the right time and place
Be thoughtful about where and when to discuss your concerns. Choose a place where you will not be overheard or interrupted, and where they will have privacy. Don't choose a time when you feel unprepared, or when they seem distracted or are in a hurry.

7. Voice your concerns
Be sensitive. Don't give details about what you have witnessed, as she may feel the need to give excuses or deny what happened. Explain why you want to support her and tell her you're ready to listen whenever she is.


8. Put them in charge
Don't expect to know all the answers. Explore options with them. Don't try to take over or tell them what to do. Tell them: "I won't make you do anything you don't want to do." Ask direct, simple questions such as: "Do you want me to help you find someone to talk to?" or "Do you want to go somewhere safe?" If they aren't sure what to do, simply encourage them to talk, and listen without judgment.

To learn more about violence against women, read the Canadian Women's Foundation's fact sheet at canadianwomen.org/facts-about-violence.

 *Methodology:

From March 21st to March 22nd 2014 an online survey was conducted among 1,009 randomly selected Canadian adults who are Angus Reid Forum panelists. The margin of error—which measures sampling variability—is +/- 3.1%, 19 times out of 20. The results have been statistically weighted according to education, age, gender and region (and in Quebec language) Census data to ensure a sample representative of the entire adult population of Canada. Discrepancies in or between totals are due to rounding.

About Canadian Women's Foundation

The Canadian Women's Foundation is Canada's public foundation for women and girls. We empower women and girls in Canada to move out of violence, out of poverty and into confidence. Since 1991, we've raised money and invested in over 1,300 community programs across Canada, and are now one of the ten largest women's foundations in the world. We take a positive approach to address root causes of the most critical issues facing women and girls. We study and share the best ways to create long-term change and bring community organizations together for training and to learn from each other. We carefully select and fund the programs with the strongest outcomes and regularly evaluate their work. We have a special focus on building a community of women helping other women. Helping women creates safer families and communities, and a more prosperous society for all of us. We invest in the strength of women and the dreams of girls. For more information please visit www.canadianwomen.org

Editors Note: When referring to the Canadian Women's Foundation, please use the full name. Please do not abbreviate or use acronyms.

SOURCE Canadian Women's Foundation

For further information: For more information including interviews with Canadian Women's Foundation representatives: Molly Chudnovsky, Edelman, Molly.chudnovsky@edelman.com, 416-849-8914; Nina Godard, Edelman, Nina.godard@edelman.com, 416-850-0611